Prime Discussion

I’ve been reading a very interesting book lately and yesterday I came across a passage that I felt compelled to share with everyone.  The name of the book is “Extended Massive Orgasm”.  No that isn’t a metaphor for a deeper meaning behind the book, it is in fact a book about sex and orgasms; however, the approach that the authors of the book, Steve Bodansky, PH. D and his wife Vera Bodansky, PH. D take in helping explain the complexities of experiencing the maximum amount of pleasure in our sex lives is quite interesting.  The passage suggest that we as a society actually worship pain (hints the title, Pain on a Pedestal). Rather than further explain, i’ll jump right into it.

American society is an agglomeration of many different cultures, of course, but one of the most prominent threads in our country’s heritage is Puritanism.  The “Puritan work ethic,” which directly or indirectly influences everyone who lives in our culture, creates a prevailing belief that suffering and pain are noble and pleasure is sinful and harmful.

The Puritan work ethic teaches that we must pay in advance for any pleasure that we get.  Puritanism also teaches that we were born in sin and thus must pay for pleasure with pain.  In order to get the evening off, we have to pay by working at least eight hours during the day and driving twice through rush hour traffic.  To get the weekend off, we have to work the rest of the week.  To get two weeks off in the summer, we must, along with everyone else and his uncle, work fifty straight weeks.  We must work until we are senior citizens, and only then can we retire and do what we supposedly wanted to do all along.

This “pay first, pleasure later” mentality is one that has brainwashed us all.  You can notice it in all areas of life, if you pay attention.  It’s apparent in religion.  For example, of all the images we have of Jesus Christ, the most visible one if that of Christ nailed to the cross, bleeding and dying in anguish.  Whether you believe in Jesus Christ or not, many wonderful, joyous stories were written about him and his deeds, yet the most ubiquitous image of him depicts his painful death.  We live in a society that puts pain on a pedestal and even worships it.

Pain is also considered more important than pleasure in work.  It’s okay to take off a day if you’re suffering.  You can call and say that you’ve broken your leg or can hardly breathe due to flu, and everyone is okay with that.  But what would happen if you called and said that you couldn’t work today because you were having so much fun with your lover that the two of you wanted to stay in bed all day? Your employer would probably tell you not to bother coming in ever again.

Pain is emphasized by the media as well.  Although there are some sensual shows on television, most of them are on expensive cable stations late at night.  Far more shows feature violence and pain than sensuality.  Most cartoons that our children grow up watching show many violent scenes every minute.  Characters are squashed like pancakes, run over, blown up, drowned and mutilated in all kinds of inventive ways.  News shows focus on people who experienced the most pain that day and detail how, where and why that pain occurred . . .

. . .  A simple experiment demonstrates that most people give priority to pain over pleasure.  If you want to strike up a lively conversation at a party, you can bring up your knee operation or triple bypass surgery, and more than likely people will jump in and enthusiastically describe their own pains.  If, however, you bring up your last wonderful orgasm, most people will look at you funny and walk away as soon as they can . .

. . . There’s one benefit of living in a pain-oriented society, as opposed to a pleasure-oriented one where nudity and sensuality are open: We can experience more eroticism.  Eroticism results from breaking taboos or minor social rules.  Living in our society, with all of its regulations, means living among an abundance of rules and taboos that can be violated.  This is why it’s more erotic to put your hand on your girlfriend’s knee under the tablecloth in a fancy restaurant than to do the same thing at home in front of the television.  If sex and pleasure were open topics, there would be fewer rules to break and, as a result, less eroticism. (Bodansky, pages 26-28)

Again, the name of this book is Extended Massive Orgasm and it’s written by Dr. Steve Bodansky and his wife, Dr. Vera Bodansky.  I do recommend this reading (and yes for more than sexual gains).

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3. I’ve been Thinking . . .
4. The Racist World of Disney!!